Why Regulation Comes Before Communication: A Therapeutic Look at Maslow’s Hierarchy

by laura dodd - link therapies

At Link Therapies, we often meet families eager to support their child’s communication and developmental goals—but what if the first step isn’t speech or language at all?

We’re all familiar with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a framework describing how humans must first satisfy basic needs (like food and safety) before achieving growth and learning. But what happens when we apply this model through the lens of emotional regulation and therapy?

Let’s take a look at the adapted version—Maslow’s Hierarchy of Regulation.

The Hierarchy of Regulation

At its core, this model highlights that without physiological needs, safety, and connection, a child cannot access higher-level functions like language learning, emotional regulation, or problem-solving. The levels include:

• Physiological Needs: Sleep, hunger, hydration, sensory balance.

• Safety Needs: Predictable routines, safe environments, consistency.

• Connection & Co-Regulation: Trusting relationships, responsive caregivers, emotional attunement.

• Self-Esteem & Capability: Confidence, skill-building, independence.

• Self-Actualization: Reaching one’s potential, creativity, purpose.

In our work with speech and ABA therapy clients, this hierarchy is a reminder that we must meet a child’s foundational needs first—especially emotional regulation—before introducing new language or academic concepts.

What This Means in Therapy

If a child is dysregulated—melting down, overwhelmed, or emotionally shut down—it isn’t time for flashcards or therapy activities. It’s time for co-regulation.

Co-regulation is the process of an adult helping a child calm their nervous system through presence, tone, and empathy. Only when the child feels safe and connected can they access their thinking brain, which is where learning and language live.

As we often say:

“A dysregulated child isn’t being difficult – they’re asking for support. When we meet their needs, we unlock their potential.”

Follow the Child's Lead: Interest-Driven Language Learning

Once a child is regulated, engagement is the next step toward communication. One of the most effective ways to support language development is by following the child’s lead—observing what they’re interested in and joining them there.

This often begins with play.

Play is defined as a self-chosen, enjoyable activity that is internally motivated and process-oriented rather than outcome-driven. It’s how children explore the world, connect with others, and learn new concepts—including language.

And importantly, there is no “right way” to play. Some children line up toys. Some act out elaborate pretend stories. Others may explore materials by spinning, sorting, or carrying them. All of these are valid expressions of play—and all offer opportunities for interaction and communication when approached with curiosity and respect.

When we present activities that are meaningful and motivating to the child, we build connection and open the door to learning. In contrast, if a child is focused on trying to escape or avoid an activity they don’t enjoy, their brain is in survival mode—not learning mode.

By respecting a child’s preferences and honoring their autonomy, we create an emotionally safe environment where communication can naturally emerge. Whether it’s playing with trains, reading favorite books, or spinning in a chair—every interest is an opportunity for connection and language.

Why Regulation is Step One for Communication

For children with communication delays or social difficulties, behavior often serves as their primary form of expression. When a child hits, runs, or withdraws, we don’t view it as defiance—we understand it as their way of expressing discomfort or dissatisfaction with the situation.

And before we can expect language, we must first restore safety, offer connection, and co-regulate. This is where our integrated team approach shines—our therapists collaborate to meet a child where they are, supporting both speech and behavior through a lens of regulation and trust.

Supporting the Whole Child at Link Therapies

At Link Therapies, we provide:

• Speech Therapy

• ABA Therapy

Our services are grounded in the philosophy that learning and language flourish when a child feels safe, seen, and supported.

References

• Hopper, E. (2024, May 14). Maslow’s hierarchy of needs explained. ThoughtCo. Read here

• McLeod, S. A. (2021, December 29). Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Simply Psychology. Read here

• Mind Is the Master. (n.d.). The 5 levels of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs explained. Read here

Presume Potential: Believing in Your Child’s Ability to Communicate

By Allison Schmidt -Link therapies

Speech-Language Pathologist

At Link Therapies, we believe every child has something important to say—whether they are speaking verbally or using AAC (Augmentative and Alternative Communication). One of the most powerful tools we can use as parents, caregivers, and professionals is the mindset of presuming potential.

What Does Presuming Potential Mean?

Presuming potential means that you believe your child is capable of learning, understanding, and communicating. Even if your child isn’t using spoken language, it doesn’t mean they have nothing to say. Every child deserves access to communication tools that help them express their thoughts, feelings, and needs. AAC systems, including communication devices, visuals, and gestures, are essential supports to help unlock that potential.

Why It Matters

When we believe in a child’s ability, we:

• Emphasize growth instead of limitations

• Set high—but achievable—expectations

• Offer more opportunities for the child to express themselves

When we assume a child can’t, we risk limiting their development, independence, and connection with others.

Tips for Presuming Potential at Home

Here are three powerful ways you can start presuming potential today at home:

1. Talk to Your Child Assuming They Understand

Use rich, meaningful language just as you would with a verbally speaking child. This helps build vocabulary and communication skills, regardless of their current expressive level.

Learn more about our speech therapy services and how we support receptive language development.

2. Celebrate Any and All Communication Attempts

Whether it's a word, a glance, a gesture, or using their AAC system—it all counts! Respond with excitement and acknowledgment to reinforce their efforts.

Visit our AAC support page to learn how we help families implement and celebrate AAC use.

3. Believe in Progress—Even If You Don’t See It Yet

Communication growth takes time. Keep modeling language, talking with your child, and staying consistent. Trust that they are learning and absorbing everything around them.

Explore our parent coaching programs for guidance and encouragement along the way.

Let’s Empower Communication Together

At Link Therapies, we’re passionate about building confident communicators—no matter where they start. If you’re looking for personalized speech therapy or AAC support in the Bay Area, we’re here to help.

📞 Contact us today to schedule a free consultation and take the first step toward empowered communication.